Plot Structure - Your ideas were good, but the story would have been better had you stuck with one specific idea. You had so many plots going on that it was difficult, at times, to make sense of what was going on. I'm not saying it's a bad thing to have multiple plots in a story, but you have to be careful to make sure that each plot gets enough attention so that the reader isn't left going, "Wait, what about this...?" For example, perhaps you could have cut out the part about Justin having an ulcer because it didn't really play into the story that much other than the fact that Dru helped him during one of his "episodes." Next time, take the time to really develop each story line, if you choose to have more than one. (20/30pts)

Characters - The two main characters, Dru and Justin, were slightly underdeveloped. You mention briefly the circumstances that caused Dru to be in the position she is in, but you don't really go into great detail about her past. I think that's something the reader needs to know about in order to really get a good grip on who the character is. The same goes for Justin. When you write about Justin feeling sick and coughing up blood, you don't mention when it all began. It was like all of a sudden Justin is doubling over in pain and coughing up blood, but you don't say when or how it all started. Also, none of the other members of the group play even a minute role in the story. Maybe you did that on purpose, but again, you need to let the reader know what's going on. Are they in a fight? Do the rest of the members know about Justin's ulcer? Do they know about Dru? These are all things that help the reader get to know each character. (17/25pts)

Setting/Theme - Despite the underdeveloped plots and characters, you did a nice job of describing things in enough detail. I wouldn't change anything about that. (15/15pts)

Point of View - I was glad you stuck with only the third person point of view. I think it would have been even more confusing had you jumped from Justin to Dru to Trace to whoever else. (15/15pts)

Spelling/Grammar - Overall, the spelling and grammar were good, though there were a few times where you dragged out words that should have been left alone. For instance, instead of saying something like, "Come oooooooooooonnnnn," you could simply say, "Come on," and describe the context in which he or she is speaking. Dragging words on and on like that grates on my nerves, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. (8/10pts)

Presentation - The presentation was absolutely perfect. Perfect font, text and background color. (5/5pts)

Bonus - I really enjoyed the way you wrote the dialogue to this story, especially the dialogue between Justin and Trace. At certain points in the story, I could actually picture them bickering back and forth like an old married couple. Keep that up! (5pts)

Overall - This isn't the best story I have ever read, nor is it the worst. I think if you make sure all of your plots and characters are well developed, it has the potential to make an excellent story. You have unique ideas, just a bit too many of them. So stick to one or two, maybe do a little editing for spelling and grammar, and you'll have a kick-ass story!

Total: 85pts

The Pretty Lies Awards:

Part One: Dew's Judging Sheet

“The Perfect Recipe” - Best Story Plot

JUDGES CATEGORY: Judged By Dew (Wicked Angels) 

Title: Heart Without a Home

Author: Courtney 

Logistics: 5/5

Yup, there it is. 

Presentation: 5 / 10

Graphics for the story are always nice, but one thing always confuses me; the use of a female celebrity to represent the fictional heroine of the story. The opening graphic has a manipulated pic including who I am fairly certain is Kellie Martin ]I think that's here name... the chick from Like Goes On?]. If I didn't know better, I might think this was a Kellie Martin / Justin Timberlake story and not a fictional heroine / Justin story. No line breaks, just paragraph breaks, and that's irritating. The link for the epilogue off the front page is missing its '.' in '.html' so it produces an error page with a broken image. 

Introduction: 8 / 10

The author makes good use of the ploy of not mentioning characters specifically by name early on. It makes the reader want to read on, find out who's who, etc., even though this idea seemed slightly far-fetched. 

Plot: 25 / 30

Ok, so this is quite possibly one of the most bizarre, far-fetched scenarios I have ever read [barring AU fiction]. And yet I wanted to read more. The idea seems absolutely ridiculous and completely impossible and yet somehow the author manages to make it work. I can't explain why or how it works, but it does, and I had to keep reading. 

Characters: 3 / 10

For this judging category, I am slightly torn. For one thing, I loved the Justin character right off the bat. He was funny, sweet and just cocky enough to be realistic. But when the reader [in this case, me] finds out that in spite of his loving attitude towards Dru, Justin is sleeping with someone else, it's just too much [might be causing people to say 'WHAT?' out loud and make surrounding people give them the 'are you crazy?' look]. It's too out of character. Plot twists are always a welcome change-up, but if they betray the character, they should be left out.

And now onto Dru. Ok. So she's homeless. Got it. Been that way since she was nine or ten. Fine. But, homeless people still know what ice cream is. They know what McDonald's is. And by the age of nine or ten, she should know how to read. The author makes her sound more like a vistor from an alien planet than someone who's been living on the street. 

Use of Emotions: 10 / 10

When Justin slept with another woman, it pissed me off. I mean, I actually got pissed at a fictional character. That's a perfect sign that the author has got her audience emotionally invested in the story. I laughed and the funny parts and got pissed at parts and was sad at parts... I haven't been that involved with any story in a long time. Bravo. 

Overall Impression: 20 / 25

As previously stated, the only things that really bugged me about this story were the bugs in the characters [so to speak]. Hidden aspects of personality are one thing, but no one has such a wide-ranged duality to their personality. The problems with Dru seeming like a visitor from Betelgeuse 7 rather than a young woman living on the streets of New York are very difficult to ignore.

In spite of all that, I could not stop reading. Were this an actual book, I'd say I 'couldn't put it down'. I was talking to a friend while I first began reading this story, and just from telling her about it, she had to go read it. There's not a lot of fiction out there that I can stick with til the end - truth be told, that includes a few of the entries in this category - but I had to finish this story. 

TOTAL: 76 / 100  

Extra: 5 / 5

Five extra points for the whole boycotting the spaghetti conversation. I'm STILL laughing at that. 

Total possible: 81 / 105 

Part Two: Soxy's Judging Sheet

“The Perfect Recipe” – Best Story Plot: WEBMISTRESS PICK

Judged By: Soxy (Obscure Thoughts) 

Webmistress Pick: ‘Heart without a Home’ By Courtney

Logistics (5 pts): Do you see a code/URL linking back to Pretty Lies?

5, if she didn’t have it I would yell at JulesJ

Presentation (10 pts): Do you know what you’re getting into? Others things to look out for here: grammar, spelling, etc.

For the most part I knew what I was getting into. Grammar was excellent. 8

Introduction (10 pts): Your first impression about the fiction. Does it propel you to read more? Do you want to read more? If characters or situations are introduced, are they done so to MAKE you want to understand what is about to unfold? Does it clinch you from the get go?

Honestly, at first I was very so-so. There was another story that was very close behind this one (by 2 points). I didn’t know how believable it would be and just where she was going to take it. The grammar kept me goingJ 6

Plot (30 pts) – Is it believable? If it’s far-fetched, does the author strive to make it seem possible? If it’s cliché does the author use it to their advantage? If it’s typical, does the author make it their own despite that? Does it make sense? Does it make you want to read? Does it keep you interested? Is it intriguing?

The author uses the cliché to the advantage and pulls you through the story. I haven’t seen one like it, so it pulled points for that reason. 20

Characters (10 pts) – Do they have an identity? Can you relate to these characters? Do you want to know more about them? Is there a connection on a level above the text? Do their reactions and actions seem justified? Do they strike an emotional chord? In their descriptions, and throughout the fiction do you feel as if they transcend the fiction? Does the author make you believe that the character is something more than the impression you had before reading?

I felt for Dru, heartwrenchignly so. Any story that can pull me in so deep to feel for the characters is classy and deserves some recognition. 10

Use of Emotions (10 pts): How did the fiction make you feel? Did it evoke an outburst from you, I.E. laugh, cry? Does it clinch into something inside you? I.E. Make you frustrated, bitter, happy? Are the emotions justified throughout the fiction, do they propel you to read on? Do they add to the experience?

See above 10

Overall Impression (25 pts) What did you like about it? What didn’t you like about it? After all is said and done what did you take away from it? Is there a reflection of some sort? Do you understand it? How did you feel after reading? Did everything tie in together?

Funny, after reading it I was thought: “Damn, the girls and I picked a good one’. I was very impressed and while in the beginning I was doubtful she mastered a way to keep me reading anyway. Bravo! 25

TOTAL: 84/100

Broken

Romancier De La Ville

Sacred Soul:
An Interview with Courtney

 

Nikki: --Hey, Courtney! I'm glad that we could finally have this interview since we kept missing each other. How are you tonight?

Courtney: Thanks! I'm honored to be interviewed! I'm great...how are you?

Nikki: Oh, I'm peachy. LOL. Recently the news came in from the NF.COM Awards on it's winners and I see that you've taken home an award. What does that feel like for you?

Courtney: Yes.  I took home the runner up award for Outstanding Stand Alone.  Seriously, this is a huge honor for me, simply because the award stemmed from the fan fiction community, and not a bunch of judges.  People took the time to come in and vote for my story...the feeling is unlike anything else. I have two other awards from previous awards sites, but they were all judged.

Nikki: So the one you've just received obviously has a more special meaning to you?

Courtney: Definitely.

Nikki: Now, how long have you been writing fan fiction?

Courtney: Well, I had several ideas running through my head for a number of years, but I could never seem to get anything written on paper.  My first solid story started in the summer of 2003.It was one of those stories that jumped all around. I never finished it, and in my opinion, it is terribly written. But at the time I thought it was great, lol.

Nikki: I think, for an author, that first story that you start writing is priceless to you even if you go on to write things that are ten times better in the future. Is there any one story that you have written, past or present, that you place above all the rest?

Courtney: I'd have to say Heart Without A Home.  That story took the place of the one I never finished.  It is my baby, and I worked so hard on it.  Looking back on it now, I see many flaws in it...but I'll never change it, simply because I feel it is perfect the way it is.  It symbolizes my first true effort in writing. Nothing could take the place of that.

Nikki: As far as I can tell it's a fan favorite as well. Its the fic that you've been bringing in the awards with. Now, when you were writing it were there any outside influences or was it writing straight from your heart? I know a lot of authors that are motivated just through fan support and demand.

Courtney: Well, its funny, because that story just sort of...happened.  I literally sat down, wrote the first line, and didn't stop.  I do feel that I based Dru a little bit from myself, unconsciously.  I am quiet and shy like she is.  I had alot of help along the way.  My Mother is a writer, and gave me pointers about good grammar and punctuation. There were also some other great fiction writers giving in their two cents as well...like Kenz, and Michelle from FlyAwayWithNsync.  Michelle was actually the first person who offered to host HWAH before I got my site established.

Nikki: Speaking of your site, I was cruising through it the other day and there was this one part that blew me away. You have a trailer for your story "Broken". It's like an actual movie trailer!

Courtney: Yeah! Michelle made that.  She is so awesome that way.  I actually have one of those for HWAH too. She has a lot of trailers for her own stories as well.  A lot of those are more elaborate than mine.

Nikki: See, now I have to be a dork and go view the one for HWAH when this interview is over. I just felt like that brought in an opening attachment to the piece before even getting involved in the reading.

Courtney: Lol, sorry to bring on the bad news but I actually haven't gotten around to uploading that trailer yet! *hides* It's definitely a great tool to use for drawing in the reader.

Nikki: A hearty chastising is coming your way...lol. Yes, it definitely is a good hook. Now, back-tracking a little bit here, you said that your mother is an established writer. Do you think you have a little of her style or is it unique from hers with your own voice?

Courtney: I think I have adapted her style slightly, but I also think that I have incorporated it into my own style.  I come up with ways of saying, or doing things that I haven't seen in any of her stories.  And that's good, because I don't' want to be a mirror of somebody else, ya know?

Nikki: Definitely. Originality is key.

Courtney: I also think, that in the beginning of my writing crusades, I wrote a lot more like her...and now I am almost totally set apart from her.

Nikki:  Its easy to fall into the trap of writing the same old thing with a little twist to it but you don't do that. You have a soul with your writing. What do you think sets you apart from the other NSYNC fiction authors out today?

Courtney: Well, I often think myself gutsy.  I hate to do the normal 'boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love...blah blah blah.  I mean, I know in HWAH it was sort of like that...but then I brought a little twist into it with her being homeless and him with his little contract. And before I wrote that, I hadn't seen anything else like it out there. And before I wrote that, I hadn't seen anything else like it out there. And now, with Broken...that story is an entirely different level.  NOBODY does stories like that.  I thought it would be a good change of pace.  I mean, I've never seen anybody do anything with Trace dying.  And actually, I think a lot of people tend to overlook that whole friendship. I wanted to show people what would happen to somebody like Justin, if so much had been taken away from him.

Nikki: I think that was a wonderful idea. It brings that interpretation of celebrities being above it all down to the reality that they are human beings too.

Courtney: Yes.  I also think there are too many stories out there involving Justin and the guys.  That's one side of Justin...but then there's this whole other side to him...the side with friends, and normality.  That's the side I like to portray.

Nikki: I commend you for taking that risk. 99.9% of writers are only portraying the glamour and the glitz.

Courtney: Yeah, I was afraid to do it at first...but nothing else seemed to be working.  I tried to do a sequel to HWAH but it was just so...boring to me.  I wanted to do something original. And I'm honored to be commended. :-)

Nikki: I don't know how off topic this next question is but what are your thoughts on the sudden movement of writers to leave the fan fiction arena? It seems like a whole generation of writers are just laying down their pens. What do you think is causing this?

Courtney: Well, as far as NSYNC fiction goes...I think a lot of people are distracted by the fact that they haven't done anything in awhile, and that they don't' seem to be making plans to.  Most of the fiction thats coming out now is Justin or JC fic.  I think that's because Justin has been sort of separated from his role in NSYNC.  There's another side to write about now...and the same goes for JC.  It's sad...but it's true. I've always been partial to BSB myself...and I read a lot of the fiction for that as well. There seems to be far more BSB authors than NSYNC authors, if that tells you anything.

Nikki: LOL, I'm not even going to start that argument. We are hosted by NF.COM you know?

Courtney: LOL I know! But, I also think a lot of the "legacy" authors feel that they've outgrown their love for NSYNC.  They want to write about other things...and so they simply move on. I hope that there will eventually be a new group of "legacy" authors.  But with the some of the stories I've been seeing now a days...it doesn't' seem very likely:-P

Nikki: Ha-ha. Well the "legacy" writers had to begin somewhere so I'm sure that with the right guidance the new kids will take us to new heights.

Courtney: Definitely.

Nikki: Do you consider yourself one of the new kids or are you a legacy writer?

Courtney: Lol, well I'm flattered that you even suggested that...but I definitely consider myself a new kid. Kenz is a legacy writer. Kenz...and Amanda is a close second. 

Nikki: What is it about their style of writing that draws you in?

Courtney: Well the thing with Kenz is...when you read her story, it doesn't' even seem like a story.  I feel like I'm standing there watching everything happen.  I'm totally entranced, as if I were watching a really great movie.  Any author that can do that, has a high standard in my book.  I like to read her stuff and study it, to try and figure out how to my my own characters seem more realistic.  Its helped me a lot. Amanda's story, Finding The Beauty Within, is just so well written.  I mean, the idea is cliché...but she uses it to her advantage and makes it her own.  Not many authors can do that.

Nikki: So when the new authors coming up, after your "generation" of writers, what is it that you want them to remember about your writing? What do you want them to take away from your work?

Courtney: Wow, that's a tough one.  I guess I would want them to remember how much passion went into writing my stories.  I would want them to know that not every story has to follow so called 'rules'.  You can be your own person.  You can write what you feel, and not care what people have to say about it. And that you should never, ever write stories for feedback. Just write.

 

- END of INTERVIEW -

The Official Elevating Eve Newsletter, Author Spotlight

FEATURED FICTION:
Broken by Courtney

“Its amazing how one moment can affect the rest of your life. Justin Timberlake has learned this the hardest way possible. A tragic accident has taken the life of his truest companion, and has left his body and soul shattered almost beyond repair. His mother, trying to do the best thing for him, has placed him in the care of a doctor who has higher expectations for him than he has for himself. Justin finds himself having to cope with both his doctor’s demands of him, and the persistent vision of his deceased friend. It would be enough to send anyone to the brink of their sanity. Can an unlikely force give him a reason to finally battle his demons?”

Once every blue moon you stumble across something amazing. By chance you crash into something great. In the fan fiction world it is difficult to find anything with real meaning that feeds the reader more than just mindless dribble and an overload of corny lines. For our first featured story we would like to introduce you to a novel that tugs at your heartstrings and proves to you that there is more to life than the trivial nonsense of everyday.

BROKEN, a contemporary novel in the works by award-winning author, Courtney, of Irresistible Dreams, is a rarity among fan fiction. Yes, it is a love story, but it is one of a different sort. Not only does it focus on the love between a man and a woman but it also showcases the bond of love between two friends.

After a tragic car accident Justin Timberlake is left paralyzed from the navel down and his best friend, Trace Ayala, succumbs to his injuries after a brief run in a coma. Being witness to his companion’s last moments and taking on the blame for the entire incident leaves Justin emotionally despondent with a pessimistic outlook on life. Running out of options to bring her son back to life, Lynn Harless takes matters into her own hands and sends him to a ranch out in the country to undergo therapy with a world-renouned physician named Karen Williams. While at the ranch Justin is forced to take a deep look at who he really is, learn the meaning of hard work, and face the haunting memories that plague his mind since the loss of his best friend. It is a multiple step program but Sheridan, Dr. William’s college-aged daughter, whom is on summer vacation and helping out with the practice, makes the transition easier.

Throughout this story the reader is sucked into glimpses of the past and present that force them to question just who Justin really is and how deep his selfishness runs. Is he an open book or does he bury all of his emotions inside? Will he be able to return to the person that he was and if he does how will that effect him and all others that he has encountered in his lifetime?

With the novel BROKEN, the writer, Courntey, expertly engages her readers into the work by writing from her heart. This story has a soul to it that is on display for all to see. Every chapter is breathtaking and leaves you open and vulnerable to change…to new opinions…