“I can’t believe you were an hour late.”

Trace sighed. He’d been expecting her attitude. He knew he’d fucked up, being so late picking her up. But Justin had kept him talking, helping him to make plans for Jenna’s first week on the job. They’d lined up a weeks worth of things for her to do, and Trace had to admit…if she was the kind of skilled professional he thought she was, they wouldn’t ever be backed up like this again. “Justin and I were doing business. How many times do I have to tell you, girl? I’m sorry.”

“Is that what you’re going to tell our kid, when you’re late for its birthday? ’Oh, sorry buddy…Uncle Justin is more important.’” Elisha rolled her eyes, and leaned in closer to the mirror so she could finish applying her eyeliner.

“Oh please,” he groaned, looping his tie around his neck. “That’s fucked up girl. You know I wouldn’t pull shit like that.”

“Oh no?” Her thin blond eyebrow arched, and she smiled sarcastically. “I’m not going to hold my breath, Juan.”

They were meeting with Elisha’s parents for dinner. According to her, she’d spoken to her mother on the phone earlier in day, but decided not to disclose the news about her pregnancy at the time. She said she wanted to do it in person, with him there. And Trace figured, she was doing it to make him even more nervous about the situation. He hated going anywhere with Elisha’s parents. Her mother degraded him as much as Elisha did, and her father was a stern son of a bitch who didn’t’ feel he was worthy of the family name. Yes, they tolerated him. They tolerated him for Elisha’s sake…but that was the extent of any warm feelings towards him. He wished he didn’t’ have to go. He wished something would happen. That Justin would call and tell him that he had to get back to the factory or the office. But, he knew nothing like that would happen. He guessed it was important that he was there for this dinner though. It was his baby, and these people were going to be it’s grandparents. Speaking of grandparents…

He hadn’t even told his own family yet.

It wasn’t that he was scared, just worried about what they would say. His parents had always been very laid back people, but strong believers in responsibility and abstinence. Of course, Trace had stopped believing in abstinence long ago…European women being the one’s to blame. He didn’t know what they would say, really. But he did know that they would be disappointed. Not in the fact that they were going to be grandparents, but in the fact that he hadn’t been responsible enough to wait until after the wedding to have a baby. And he didn’t want to hear it. He had enough people hating on him as it was, without having to worry about his own family frowning down upon him.

“Baby get my tie…” he staggered over to her, and frowned. His tie wasn’t cooperating, and he really hated that. There was a time that Elisha would have laughed and said ‘poor baby, let mamma fix it’. But now, she only rolled her eyes and acted like he was putting her out.

“You know, Juan,” she muttered, yanking his tie out of the pathetic knot he‘d tried to make. “One of these days you’re going to have to learn to be a man, and tie your own ties.”

“I did it this morning,” he grunted, as she finished knotting the tie the right way. He stepped back from her, and glanced at her work in the mirror, ensuring that the tie was straight…wrinkle free. “But you do it faster.”

“What happens if I leave,” she threatened. “Who’s going to fix your ties for you then?”

He sent her a look of disgust through the mirror. “What kind of comment is that to throw at me?”

She laughed bitterly. “Well ,you were the one that was late…for my damn doctor’s appointment. For a minute there, I thought I was one of those broke ass crack whores, having their pimps baby.”

Idiot. She‘d make a great soap opera star. “God, I told you.” He turned to face her, and folded his arms across his chest. “I didn’t mean to. Things just happened. Work ran late.”

“You promised to be on time,” she reminded him. “Are you going to do the same thing for the ultrasound, Trace? Hell…the birth? Is this baby even going to know what you look like?”

He slapped his thighs in annoyance. “You just don’t fuckin stop do you? I said I was sorry…that I would make it up to you. Hell, I’m going to sit through dinner with your parents right now, and you know…that’s one of my favorite things to do.” He flashed her a sarcastic smile, and rolled his eyes.

“It’s not my fault that my parents see you for what you are, Juan,” Elisha nodded, and threw on her knitted khaki overcoat. “I’ve tried to convince them otherwise, but I guess I’m just a really bad liar.”

When she was mad, she was horrid. Trace knew that she would probably go on and on for the rest of the week about how he’d been late. How he didn’t care. How he was a failure. How everything he touched blew up in his face. He was sick. Tired. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. What he really wanted to do right now, was tell her to pack a bag and get the hell out. And before, when things weren’t so crazy and confusing; when he wasn’t obligated, he knew he could have done it. She would have been out of his life in the matter of a day or two. But no, he hadn’t taken advantage of the opportunity. He couldn’t bare to send another relationship to its doom. The truth was, he was fucking terrified of being alone. He need somebody to stick around, love him. And he wanted to love somebody back. It worked once upon a time. He’d been happy with this woman. Back then, he wanted nothing more than to hold her…kiss her…make love to her, and she’d had the same feelings for him.

Now, sex was like a burden. Something that they were supposed to do, because if they didn’t it would mean that there was no point to the relationship anymore. When they did have sex…that one magical night every month, he admitted…it was the only thing about their relationship that still worked. They were still passionate together. They still craved one another. But most of the time, they were too busy fighting to realize that. It was only on those nights, that he realized how much he missed loving her like he used to. And it was probably why he ended up saying all that stupid crap, about how he still loved her, still needed her. It was probably why…he cried.

“You ready?,” he groaned, trying to avoid carrying out the rest of their argument. He squirted a small blob of gel into his hand and ran it through his hair, making those spikes that he normally loved to ruffle, stand on point. He couldn’t look slept in for her folks. He knew that they hated that kind of thing . It made them think that he was a non working slob. Well, her mother thought that about him no matter what he looked like…

“I’m not going to bring you to dinner with my parents if you’re going to be in a mood,” Elisha snapped. “Do you think I want to hear them tell me what a big loser you are?”

“Well,” he chuckled sadly. “You’re already convinced that I’m a loser, so what’s the difference? If I can tolerate you degrading me, I think I can handle your parents mouths too.”

“Guhh!” She threw her hands up and stormed out of the bedroom. A door slam later, Trace knew she was sitting in the car, waiting for him to join her.

Maybe he could get sick. Force himself to throw up so he wouldn’t have to go. Although, he’d tried that once before, and all it had done was make his throat sore. Elisha had caught him too…standing in the bathroom, shoving his finger down his throat. “You’re such a baby, Juan,” she’d muttered. “Just get in the damn car.”

And he had.

Just like he was going to right now.
***************

She had the job.

She was a little surprised, but then…she really wasn’t. She knew what her qualifications were, and she knew how skilled she was in the field. Not that the interview hadn’t been intimidating. It was quite the opposite actually . Once she’d managed to park her hunk of junk in the office parking lot, Trace escorted her upstairs, where she came face to face with Justin again. He’d remembered her of course, and they‘d ended up reminiscing about their coke catastrophe. Laughing about it, thankfully.

She still hadn’t been able to let feeling that she knew Justin from somewhere roll off her shoulders either. She thought, long and hard, about all the different places she could have ran into the guy before. The store…Christine’s school, Daniel‘s school…but none of it made sense. She was sure the first time she’d ever laid eyes on Justin Timberlake, was at McDonald’s that day. Even so, she still couldn’t get the thought to stop nagging at her. She figured that maybe, if she got the job…she would ask Trace about exactly who his friend was. Trace was a nice guy after all, and she didn’t’ think she would have a problem talking to him about anything. Not that Justin wasn’t the same way. But she felt weird walking up to him and asking him: “Excuse me, but…who are you?”

All in all, Trace and Justin both seemed really nice, really genuine. And Jenna was sure she wouldn’t have a problem working with either of them…

It was that Danny guy that scared the crap out of her.

Although she was almost positive that Danny Guez was gay, by the way he talked and swished his hands around, it didn’t take away from the fact that he was a very serious, intimidating man. He’d thrown questions at her left and right. Asking her things that didn’t even have to do with the job itself. She’d wanted to point out that fact, but she knew she needed to land the job; and talking back to her superior certainly wouldn‘t have gotten her anywhere. In order to impress Danny, she answered every question the best way she could, and the answers she didn’t know, she simply bullshitted her way through. By the look on Trace’s face, she knew he could tell she didn‘t have a clue as to what half the answers were. But Danny didn’t’ seem to notice…and that was all that mattered. In the end, the guy had actually smiled, and told her that he was glad to have her aboard. She would start on Monday. She even had her own little desk. It was like some crazy dream that was coming true. A week ago, her life had been spiraling out of control every second of every day. And now, because of a stressful day, and a spilled glass of coke…things were suddenly beginning to turn around for her, and for her family, just like that.

Now all she had to do was keep the damn job.

Donna was so thrilled when she heard the news, that she’d decided to bring them all out for dinner to celebrate. Jenna would have been fine with Denny’s…really, she would have. But Donna insisted on dragging them to Cicada, an upscale Italian restaurant in West Hollywood. Yeah, the kind of place that charged you forty bucks for a plate of spaghetti. Jenna had complained about it the entire car ride there, but to no avail. Donna had made her mind up, and when Donna made her mind up…there was no going back. Jenna guessed it could have been worse. At least Christine and Daniel were getting a kick out of it, as they hadn’t’ been out to a real sit down dinner in over a year.

Not that Christine deserved it…there had been yet another truancy message on the answering machine when Jenna had arrived home from the interview that afternoon. But with the excitement of the day overwhelming her, she’d let it roll of her shoulders, promising herself to have a talk with Christine about it after dinner. Although…she knew she would probably be too tired to bother. It was bad. Somebody needed to make her sister listen…go to school, and stop screwing around. But Jenna, she was still practically still a kid herself. Trying to make ends meet, and taking care of an active six year old was enough work to keep her busy for the rest of her life. Something had to be neglected. And unfortunately, most of the time, that something was her sister’s well being.

“Why can’t I have some wine?”

Jenna rolled her eyes. “Because this is a nice place, and they don’t condone underage drinking, Christine.”

“Oh, a sip won’t hurt,” Donna defended, and poured a little of the Chianti Classico into Christine’s wine glass. “This is a celebration dinner, after all.”

“Donna…” Jenna narrowed her eyes at her best friend, but couldn’t hold back the smile that spread across her face. Donna was right. It was a celebration dinner. And they were celebrating her new job. Her new job. The words continued to repeat themselves in her mind, over and over. She thought about all the things that were about to change in her life. There would be food…lots of it. The bills would start to get paid. There would be no more warning notices or phone calls. Insurance, Trace had told her that the company offered it. That meant Daniel and Christine could finally go to the doctor, the dentist. But most important of all, she could finally start to repay Donna all the money she’d lent her over the past year. She hated borrowing money of any kind, taking handouts of any kind. Especially from friends. Sadly, she hadn’t had much of a choice over the past few months. They would have been cast out into the streets otherwise.

But she would make it up to her friend now. She would.

“Oh hush,” Donna smiled, and raised her wine glass in the air. “A toast,” she giggled. “To our new executive of the board.”

“Donna,” Jenna laughed. “I’m a secretary for God’s sake.”

Donna rolled her eyes. “I’m trying to make you sound important,” she whispered. “We’re in a swank setting.”

Christine laughed. “Swank? Please…Tony took me to La Peri,” she bragged. “Now that’s swank.”

Jenna frowned, and lowered her wine glass. “And who may I ask, is Tony?”

Christine stared back at her, speechless for a moment or two. “Uh he’s…a guy from school.” Her eyes darted from herself to Donna and back. “My class. His father…um, works there.”

Jenna sighed. Her sister was a terrible liar, and Jenna knew exactly what her sister had done. Tony was probably twenty eight…engaged…and looking for jail bait pussy. She was sick of this. She wanted Christine to value herself…but all she was doing was turning out more like Cindy every day. “Why don’t’ I believe you?”

“I want to toast!” Daniel hollered, interrupting their tense moment. “Jenna I want to toast too!”

Jenna smiled slightly, and forced herself to tear her gaze away from her petrified sister. “How about this,” she said, taking the extra wine glass from Daniel’s place setting. “We’ll pretend that you have wine too.” She poured some of his ice water into the glass, and slid it in front of him. “Just be careful when you pick it up okay?”

Daniel’s eyes sparkled at the new wonder that sat before him. His smile widened, and he looked up at her gleefully, revealing to gap where his front teeth had been only two weeks ago. “I’m gonna toast!”

Christine laughed a little. “Why don’t you just give him the real thing Jen?”

Jenna sent Christine a warning look, telling her that she hadn’t forgotten what they’d just discussed. “Don’t think you’re off the hook,” she nodded. “We’re talking about everything later, got it?”

“Jenna…”

“I don’t’ want to hear it,” she snapped. “You know what you did.” She heard Donna clear her throat, and it was only then that she remembered her friend was sitting there with them. “Oh…” She tore her gaze away from her sister, and looked back at Donna. “Sorry.”

“Can we get on with this?,” Donna said forcefully. “Or am I going to have to separate you two?”

“A toast,” Christine spoke up nervously. “To…my hard working sister. May she have the best of luck…so we don’t have to live in a box.”

Jenna rolled her eyes. What a bullshit artist. Just like her mother, that one was.

They all raised their glasses. Jenna tried to keep hers lower so Daniel wouldn’t be influenced to hold his high in the air and drop it. It almost worked. Daniel was careful, he held the glass steady. But then, on the way up, he accidentally knocked the glass against the table, and it slipped right through his small hands. The water spilled all over his little khaki trousers, and then…that’s when the tears came.

“I’m wet,” he moaned, tugging at her arm. “Jenna I’m wet!”

“Oh god,” Jenna groaned.

“Geez,” Christine laughed. “You should have known better than that, Jen.”

She sent her sister an annoyed glare. “Just shut up, okay?”

“Jenna I’m all wet!” Daniel continued, the tears streaming down his face.

“It’s okay, just relax Jen.“ Donna began to rise out of her chair. “I’ll take him.“

“No, no.” Jenna rose from her seat quickly, and took Danny by his wet hand. “I’ll go, it’s fine. You know how he is about public places.”

“I’m wet!” Daniel reminded the room. “My pee pee is cold Jenna!”

She felt her face turn bright, fiery red, and she could hear snickers coming from some of the other tables. Yeah, great way to make yourself seem civilized in an upscale place, moron. “We’ll be back,” she sighed, and pulled Daniel along as she ventured to find the bathroom.

Walking through the dining area, she couldn’t’ help but gawk at the fabulous architecture of the restaurant. It was definitely unlike anything she‘d ever seen before. It was decorated in a 1920’s motif, mixed with a contemporary atmosphere. It’s ceilings were high, vaulted; and everything was outlined in gold and silver trim. Honestly, she’d never been in such a classy place before, and it made her cringe to think about the bill. She wished Donna hadn‘t decided to be so generous tonight, as she figured this dinner was going to probably going to cost close to two hundred dollars.

“I can’t believe you’re acting like this! Why can’t you show them any respect?”

The angry female voice shot through her ears, breaking her out of her guilty thoughts for the moment. She glanced toward the direction of the voice, and found it‘s owner almost immediately. There in the corner, sat four miserable looking people. An older couple and a younger couple. The younger male was standing up, staring down at his pretty blond girlfriend. And his girlfriend wasn’t too happy. The older couple was sitting there, staring, seemingly in shock. Parents, she realized. They must have been one of their parents. “Lord,” she chuckled. “Relationships.”

Not wanting to wait around for the gory details, she continued on. Then…finally, the bathroom. Salvation. Once inside the women‘s room, she hoisted Daniel up on the sink, and grabbed a few hand cloths from the fancy guest towel holder. “I hate to use these fancy little things for your pants,” she sighed, beginning to wipe at the water stains on his trousers. “You have to be more careful, okay honey?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered sorrowfully, looking down at the ground.

“I’m not mad,” she reassured him, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “But sometimes you get too excited, Dan.”

“I wanted to toast,” he explained. “Cuz you got a new job. And so you won‘t cry anymore.”

He cared so much for a child his age, and it amazed her. He was nothing like the rest of her family. Nothing like herself, or Christine. And he bared absolutely no resemblance to their mother, physically or personality wise. But that was a good thing. She figured he must have inherited everything from his father, and she often wished she could have met him…just once. He must have been suave, smart; definitely too good for their whore of a mother. He was probably married, with a few children of his own. Most likely, he went out to a bar after work, met Cindy, and decided…what the hell? One time…one woman. Nobody will ever know.

And that was how Daniel came to exist.

“You did a good job,” she smiled, and helped him down off the sink. His pants and underwear were somewhat dry, at least she hoped they were. “You feel dry enough to have dinner?,” she asked, hoping that he wouldn‘t beg her to take him home.

He stared up at her, a hopeful gaze in his eyes. “Sghettis?”

She laughed. “If you want.”

“Then…yes!” he grinned his toothless grin at her, and took her hand.

“Okay,” she chuckled, and led him out of the bathroom.

“I’m telling you man…fuck this. Fuck it all.”

The same man that she’d seen at the table of four, was standing by the men’s room now. His back was to her, and his cell phone was pressed to his ear. She looked him up and down. He was in a suit…probably an expensive one; and he was angry…really angry.

“You know what that bitch said?,” he chuckled. “She told me I was a freeloader. That I would never amount to anything…and that I didn’t deserve Elisha. That she had another ‘great guy‘ waiting for her back in Quebec. What the fuck is that?”

It sounded ugly. And Jenna wasn’t about to be brought down…not tonight. It had been entirely too long since she’d felt this good…this positive about the future and what it was going to bring.

“What’s a fuck?,” Daniel whispered.

“It’s a bad word, and you shouldn’t say it Dan,” she told him, with a groan. She started to pull him away, hoping that by the time they sat back down, Dan would have forgotten all about ’fuck’ and it would be time to order their dinner. She was starving, and restaurant food was something she’d been missing for a very long time. But before she could get further than two steps away from the restrooms, the man who was complaining into his cell phone turned around…and she couldn’t help but freeze in her tracks, her nerves taking over her immediately.

“Man I…” He stopped, mid sentence, phone still stuck to his ear

Trace was staring at her. His expression was a tired, miserable one, and Jenna couldn’t help but feel bad for the guy. So…he was the one at the table. He was the one fighting with his girlfriend and her parents. She started to wonder what was going on with him. What was the problem? Maybe…in-laws? Yeah. His in- laws hadn’t taken to him well. It sucked, because he seemed like such a great guy. She’d been able to see that the first time she met him. So then what would his girlfriend’s parents hold against him? Wait. Was she his girlfriend? No…no because he had that ring. Lord, there were too many questions. Questions that she shouldn’t have cared about, because his personal life was none of her business.

“Look, I’ll call you back,” he sighed into his phone. “Yeah, I’m fine…I just gotta go get my head together. No…,” he groaned. “God man, I’m fine! All right, later.” He flipped his phone shut, and shoved it in his pocket, before forcing a smile for her. “Uh…hey.”

She bit her bottom lip. “Tough night?”

He chuckled a little. “Maybe…but nothing too drastic.” He eyed Daniel, and smiled a little more. “Hey there.”

Daniel hid behind her leg. “Hi.”

“Sorry.” She laughed a little, and stroked his head gently. “He’s shy.”

“Hey it’s cool,” he nodded. “Um…how’s your car doing? Did you get home okay?”

Yes, she had gotten home okay, but only because Trace had been kind enough to buy her some motor oil from the gas station. She felt horrible, picking the guys pocket when she hadn‘t even started working for him yet. But she figured, since she had the job now…she could pay him back no problem, once her first pay check was cashed. “Yeah, it was fine,” she smiled, nervously. “Thanks for the oil.”

“It‘s no prob,” he nodded. “Just make sure you always keep up on that kinda thing. I wouldn’t want to have to race to your rescue again,” he laughed, but it didn’t‘ last long. “So what brings you out here?”

Obviously, he knew this wasn’t the kind of place she frequented very often. Not that she was offended. It was easy to tell the type of people that could or couldn’t afford to eat here. “Um, it’s just a little celebration dinner,” she blushed. “My best friend is treating me.”

“Ah,” he smirked, and raised an eyebrow. “Celebrating the new job?”

She shrugged, embarrassed. He was her boss after all. “Sort of.”

He scratched the side of his mouth. “I was really proud of the way you handled yourself around Danny today,” he nodded. “You know, he’s not the easiest person in the world to deal with.”

She laughed a little. “I can tell. But, I guess I was prepared for something like that to happen.” It was awkward talking to him like this. She knew he was having a rough night with his girlfriend or whoever it was, and now he was acting like nothing was wrong. She didn’t know how he was pulling it off so well. She certainly couldn’t hold her feelings back like that. But maybe it was the professional side of Trace Ayala that had taken over. Right. He was her boss and he couldn’t afford to seem unprofessional in her eyes.

Even so, a small part of her wished he would crack and tell her a little something about himself/ Tell her what kind of problems he was being faced with at the moment. God, he already knew enough about her to write a sympathy column about her lifestyle in the Tribune. So, didn’t that give her the right to know just as much about him? Wait…was it fair to be thinking this way? No…after all, it was her fault that coke had spilled all over Justin in the first place. If she hadn’t been such a klutz, none of this would even be happening right now.

Thank God for small miracles.

“Listen, I’m glad I caught you,” he smiled. “Justin and I kind of outlined a few things this afternoon, and I was going to call you tomorrow to ask you to meet me for dinner. But…you’re here now so I guess I’ll just ask you now.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and laughed a little. “You wanna meet me here tomorrow night? Say, eight-ish?”

She thought long and hard. Tomorrow was Saturday, so that meant Christine had cheerleading in the morning. Right, she’d be home in plenty of time to watch Daniel for her. But even so, she felt weird coming down here to eat dinner with her boss. Her boss who was a guy. A guy that, by the looks of it, was having a lot of relationship problems right now. She couldn’t help but be wary. After all, she didn’t really know him…or what he was capable of. She wasn’t about to be taken advantage of, that was for sure. Her last boss had pulled that on her, one too many times. And she would quit this job before she had to be subjected to that kind of harassment again. “Uh well…”

“Look,” he sighed, a knowing look in his eyes. “I know that you probably heard most of that phone conversation before and…I know you’re probably thinking that I want to take you to dinner so I can try to get with you or something…”

He’d hit the mark dead on.

“But seriously,” he sighed. “I’m not like that. I have…things going on in my personal life. And that’s all it is…my personal life. Business is business, Jenna, I swear. I just need to go over some stuff about the job with you. You know, a few projects and stuff. It’s nothing like, huge. I mean, if you’re uncomfortable we could meet at the office or…”

“No,” she laughed, interrupting his nervous ramble. She felt bad, stupid for not trusting him. She was doing it again…judging him when she shouldn’t have been. It was obvious that he was a nice guy. A nice guy who was simply trying to give her a clue as to what her job was really all about, before she started. She should have been happy, ecstatic that he was making such a big effort to get her off on the right foot “Really, I’m sorry. It’s just…” She looked down at Daniel, and even though she felt like crap doing it, she decided to use him to her advantage anyway. “He spilled his drink all over and I was rushing…I didn’t expect to see you here…and I guess with the new job and everything going on, I‘m just…”

He held his hand up, cutting her speech short, and smiled. “Say no more.”

She nodded.

“So then, you’ll meet me here?,” he asked her. “Tomorrow. Eight o’clock?”

“Jenna I want sghetti,” Daniel spoke up quietly; giving her hand a tug. “Please.”

She glanced down and smiled at her brother. “One second baby, okay?” She looked up at Trace again. “Yeah, I can make it. I’ll be here.”

“Great,” he flashed her another smile, before turning to walk away. “Oh yeah…,” he said suddenly, looking back over his shoulder.

She gasped. “Hmm?”

“Congratulations, Miss Secretary.”

***************

The dinner had gone anything but smooth. They’d been late leaving the house first of all; and it was all Elisha could remind him about when they got caught in traffic halfway to Cicada. When they’d finally arrived, Elisha‘s parents were already aggravated with him, as they‘d had to order their meals without the two of them. And Trace hadn’t even had the chance to tuck his chair in before her mother started to gruel him with the normal, snide questions and remarks she usually threw at him whenever they would see each other.

“So what is it your doing now?,” Mrs. Cuthbert had grumbled. “Some silly clothing line?

He’d wanted to walk out just then, not in the mood to be degraded twice in one evening. But one glance at Elisha’s father had told him that if he did, he would be going home to an empty house. And he would probably never get to see his baby. He knew her parents, and he knew if they had the opportunity they would probably convince Elisha to come back to Canada with them. According to them there was ‘more opportunity’ for her career there; although he begged to differ. So, to make things easier on himself, he’d sat there, and shrugged. “It’s a project in the works,” he explained. “Justin and I…”

“Oh yes, Justin,” Mrs. Cuthbert had forced a sarcastic smile. “That playboy friend of yours.”

It was ridiculous to try and talk to the woman, because Trace knew no matter what answers he gave her, no matter what promising things he had going on in his life, and no matter what he did to make her daughter feel loved, it wasn’t going to matter. Nothing he ever did, or would ever do would be good enough in Mrs. Cuthbert’s book. He was only thankful that she wasn’t his own mother. God. Now that would have been a tragedy.

They’d taken the news about the baby surprisingly well. They seemed excited that they were going to be grandparents, despite the fact that he was the father. Her mother chit chatted with Elisha about the various things she was supposed to do, the types of plans she was going to have to make. He should have taken the situation lightly, sat back, and remained silent. He knew he should have. But the fact that it was his baby too, and her parents weren’t even directing their comments about the baby towards him at all made him angry. What was he? A sperm bank? He’d pointed out what was on his mind, and no, no it wasn’t a good idea. Because then the father had started yelling, he’d started yelling, and her mother had started yelling too.

That was when he’d actually gotten up and left the table.

“So you actually hired somebody?,” Cameron giggled, pulling a Corona out of the cooler and handing it to him.

“It’s unbelievable right?,” Justin added, putting an arm around his girlfriend as she took her normal position on his lap. “It only took you what…three weeks, Trace?”

He shook his head, and popped the cap off of the Corona. “I’m picky,” he informed them, guzzling some of the liquid. “Y’all should be used to it by now.”

“Well what’s she like?” Cameron asked, her bright blue eyes filling with curiosity. “Is she one of those professional, working class girls?”

Justin laughed. “Hardly. But, she’s a sweetheart, and she seems to be really experienced in the line of work we’ve hired her for. She’s not a little slut. And she’s not in this to say she works for us,” he nodded. “She just wants to do the work, you know?”

“Yeah,” Trace agreed. “She seems like she’s going to work out really well.” Initially, he’d been a little shocked, bumping into her at Cicada like that. In a million years, he’d never thought it was the kind of place she would have shown up for dinner. He knew that thought made him sound like a little diva or whatever, but…he knew how much it cost to eat there, and he knew Jenna Kade’s financial situation. But even so, he was glad he’d bumped into her. It made some of the stress he’d been faced with that evening fade a bit. He was able to think about work, get his mind off of Elisha’s stupid parents. Jenna of course, had no idea how much she’d put his mind at ease; and of course she couldn’t know. But he guessed it didn’t really matter. All that mattered, was that she’d calmed him enough so that he could make it through the rest of that dinner in silence…instead of getting angry all over again.

Justin raised and lowered his eyebrows. “Traces’ got a date with ‘er tonight.”

Cameron gasped, and gave Trace a light slap on the shoulder. “Trace Ayala!”

“Please,“ Trace rolled his eyes. “Sorry to ruin your dreams of a torrent affair between me and the new secretary, man. But I mean, it’s a business dinner for Christ’s sake. Hell Justin, you know I gotta go over this shit we planned to have her do, before she starts. She‘ll be lost otherwise,“ he explained, and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Hey, hey,” Justin flashed him an innocent smile. “I’m just playin’ around,” he laughed. “No need to get on the defensive, Trace.”

“You’re such a jerk,” Cameron frowned, but kissed her boyfriend on the lips anyway. “Leave him alone, J.”

“Who are you having an affair with, Trace?” Elisha strolled through the door and took a seat beside him. She was a little late for their ritual Saturday brunch, but Trace couldn’t’ say he was surprised. The fight had been horrible when they’d gotten home the night before; lasting into the early hours of the morning, before they’d finally collapsed against each other…in a fit of passion. Yes, as weird as it was…they’d had sex last night. Wonderful, magical, passionate sex that had filled him up with so much joy and happiness, he’d wished the time didn’t have to come when he‘d be forced to face reality again. He wanted to keep that version of his girlfriend close to him. Embrace her, love her…never let her go. But he’d known that he couldn’t. Today was a new day. A new struggle. And Elisha well, she was back to her usual, bitchy self. Degrading him this morning, she’d told him all about how much her parents hated him now. She told him…she didn’t know how she was supposed to marry a man that her parents disliked so much.

So he told her he couldn’t’ have given a shit if they went through with the wedding or not.

“Fuck it,” he’d muttered. “We wont’ get married. Give me the ring, we‘ll cancel all the plans. I mean, I’ll still stay with you and help you with the baby and everything. Maybe, we can even work things out to the point where we can still live together and tolerate each other. But if we can’t, you know we’re going to have to separate after the baby is born. I mean, I can’t have the kid growing up in the kind of environment we’re living in now.”

“I know that,” she’d agreed, tugging at the ring on her finger. “I…hell.” She’d sighed, and finally yanked the ring off. “I guess I’ve known for awhile that we can’t get married, Trace.” She‘d held the ring out to him, and he’d taken it from her. Her bottom lip trembled for a few moments, before she’d actually lost her composure. She’d cried, and he’d held her, until they’d both decided that enough was enough . Sitting on the bed together, they’d talked some more about their options. In the end, they both agreed that the wedding plans were definitely off, but they weren’t sure if that meant their relationship was over. They both felt that they wanted to be together still…that they couldn’t live without each other. But Trace wasn’t stupid. He knew where those feelings were stemming from. Well, at least where his were, anyway. It was all about the baby. The baby was the one thing preventing them from walking out on each other. And even though putting themselves through emotional hell for a child’s sake wasn’t the best idea in the world…

It wasn’t the worst idea either

“We‘re talking about the new girl they‘ve hired to answer the phone,” Cameron laughed. “Has Trace told you about her?”

“Trace never talks business with me,” Elisha grunted. She glanced at him quickly, but she didn’t‘ smile. “He…hardly talks to me at all.” She took Trace’s beer off the table, and brought it to her lips…

Trace gasped. “Girl…” he grabbed the beer and put it down on the table. “What are you thinking about?” He couldn’t believe she was acting this way in front of their friends. Justin and Cameron, they didn’t know the whole of it…how bad things really were, and they didn‘t need to find out either. Sure, he talked to Justin about some of the fights and things like that. But he couldn’t’ bring himself to dish about the really bad things. The drunken fits of anger he had. How she degraded him every single day until he felt like he was ready to fall apart from the depression. Yes, he had to keep all that hidden…locked away deep inside of him, where nobody could find out about it. It was better this way, even though a small part of him constantly reminded him that Justin was his best friend…busy celebrity or not, and he was always willing to listen.

He guessed it was simply embarrassing. Embarrassing because Justin had such a stable relationship, a committed relationship, despite a never ending schedule and a constant supply of other women…exotic, sexy woman, at his every beck and call. But Justin didn’t let it affect his personal life. He was good like that. He’d always been. Despite touring, promoting, and everything else he’d had to put up with when he was with NSYNC, he’d kept his relationship with Britney going for six years. Six fucking years. And what did he get in return? A slap in the face. Hell, Trace was surprised he could even start a new relationship after all of that. But…he had. Cameron brought out the best of him. They were in love. And Justin deserved it…he deserved to be in a great relationship like he was.

But that didn’t mean Trace wasn’t jealous. He’d been with Elisha all this time, knew the girl inside out. Yet, everything was blowing up in his face. Hell, everything had been blowing up in his face for entirely too long. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he handle things? Why couldn’t he make her happy…be good enough for her? What the hell was he doing wrong? Where had he made his first mistake with her?

He couldn’t even remember, although, he knew it had to be around the time she’d kissed that stupid asshole. Too harsh, yes. He’d been much too harsh with her then. Telling her that he didn’t love her anymore. Right. That was it. That’s when this all started. That’s when everything started to fall apart.

But he couldn’t go and change the past. That would have been too damn easy.

“I’m just…” Elisha glanced at him, and frowned. “I didn’t think.”

“Damn right you didn’t think,” Trace snapped, forgetting about Justin…forgetting about Cameron. All he could see was her…and right now, she was making him furious. “You wanna kill our baby Elisha?,” he whispered. “You wanna be rid of me that bad?” He picked up the beer again and shoved it in her face. “Go ahead,” he sneered. “Go ahead if you’re so hell bent on doing it.”

Her mouth gaped, and she stared back at him; a shocked, pained expression on her face. He knew he shouldn’t have said that. Of course she didn’t want to kill the kid. She wanted it now, despite her attitude about it when she’d first realized she was pregnant. It was a baby, and she loved it. They both loved it. It was fucked up…what he said, what he did. Really fucked up. But he couldn’t take it back now. After a moment, he remembered Justin…remembered Cameron, and glanced at them quickly. Cameron was glaring at him, an angry expression on her face. She didn’t understand how he could act like such a bastard to his pregnant “fiancé”. But Justin, Justin just stared at him. He knew the situation. He had a clue about how bad things were getting with them…that the relationship was all falling apart. And Trace knew Justin didn’t think badly of him. No…he couldn’t.

“Sorry, guys,” Elisha flashed Justin and Cameron a quick smile; and stood up. “I’m gonna head out.”

“Elisha wait,” Justin spoke up. “Girl just sit down…you shouldn’t…”

“Just stop,” she sent Justin a warning look. “You don’t know anything.”

Trace covered his face with his hands, and groaned. After a moment, he heard her storm away without so much as a goodbye. He didn’t know what was going to happen now. If she would even be there when he got home later. She would probably leave…go back up North to stay with her parents. She would take his baby. He’d never see it. God…no… He stood up, and ran back inside the house. “Elisha!”

But she was gone.

“Fuck.” He leaned back against the cream colored wall, and slid down to the floor. “What the hell did I do?” he whimpered. “What the hell did you do, Trace?”

“Man, come on. Take a breath, calm down.”

After a moment, he looked up at who he was sure was Justin. He rubbed the tears out of his eyes, and sighed. “I’m sorry,” he laughed sadly. “I fucked everything up.”

Justin sighed, and sat down beside him. “Look man. I know things have been getting bad at home with you and her, and…I guess this was just a long time coming. I mean, I didn’t’ even see her ring today…”

Trace picked his head up, and sniffled a little. “We called it off.”

Justin nodded. “You wanna stay here for a couple of days?”

It was tempting. He could hide here, have his old spot back at the guest house. It would almost be like nothing had happened at all…take him back a couple of years ago when Elisha wasn’t even a glint in his eye. He could forget, start over…right? No. No, this was his life now. He had some kind of thing going with this woman, and she was having his baby. He was going to be the man. “I can’t,” he decided.

“I figured as much,” Justin laughed softly. “But I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I’m comfortable about you going home and facing her,” he told him. “I don’t want you to get all crazy and say a bunch of shit to her that you‘ll end up regretting.”

He laughed. “It’s too late for that, Justin.”

“What’s been happening?,” Justin asked, his voice full of concern. “I mean, I know y’all have been having your problems. Hell, a baby is a scary thing. But you two…you’ve always been a strong couple. You’ve always worked shit out. I don’t really understand, Trace. Like, what’s tearing y’all apart?”

He shrugged. “We haven’t been the same since that night.”

“You mean the kiss.”

Trace nodded.

“Man,” Justin sighed. “You know, I’ve been played more times that I’d like to admit. Yeah, she made a mistake and all…but, you gotta be able to forgive her for it. It wasn’t like she slept with the guy.”

“I did forgive her.” He had. After it initially happened sure, he hadn’t spoken to her for about two weeks. But after, they’d talked things out, decided they would give it another try. Soon after, he’d bought the ring and popped the question. But still, things were never the same. He had a hard time trusting her . When she went out to premieres and parties without him, he always had the thought that she was cheating on him in the back of his mind. At times, he felt like he was being ridiculous. But then…he felt he had a right to feel that way. Things had been going so awesome between them. He loved her, and then…she just went and kissed some guy.

“No you didn’t,” Justin told him. “Come on, Trace. I know you. I know how your mind works. You’re exactly like I am.”

“All right. Fine,” he confessed. “I just…it hurts me to think that she could go and do that to me, after I poured my heart and soul into her, you know? And like, after it happened, I guess I started to get a little cold around her. I guess it took away from us. And then…she stopped landing roles, and so, she was pissed all the time. I guess the mood just stuck,” he shrugged and shook his head. “And now, all we do is fight. All she does is degrade me. I’m sick of Jus‘. I feel like I have to be two people, you know? I have to be her whipped ass boyfriend who takes all this shit from her, and then I have to get up…and go and work…”

Justin laughed out loud, and patted Trace’s back gently. “Welcome to my life, bro.”

Trace half smiled. “At least you’re happy with your girl.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “We’re not perfect. We fight, just like every other couple. Sure, she’s probably the best thing that happened to me since Brit and I split. But no relationship is ever perfect, Trace. Come on, you know that.”

“I want that though,” he told him. “I want to fight, but make up two minutes later because the fight was stupid to begin with. You know, I want…I want things to be like they used to be. I want to…be in love. I don’t wanna to be in an obligation.”

Justin nodded, and stroked his chin in thought. “I wish I knew what I could to do to help you out,” he sighed. “But…it just…”

“You know it’s not gonna work,” Trace told him. “Just say it, Justin.”

“Maybe not,” Justin said quickly. “But you got a baby to worry about.”

“God.” Trace rose up from the ground, and helped Justin to do the same. “I know.”

“Look, man. The best advice I can give you, is to calm yourself down…go home, and really talk to her. You should know by the end of today, how things are going to work between you two. If y‘all are really meant to be…things will just work themselves out on their own,” he nodded. “Trust me.”

Justin had never led him wrong before, and it was only this thought that forced him to lighten up about the situation a little bit. Maybe, things would work themselves out. Maybe, Elisha really was the only girl for him. Everything was such a big mess right now though, it was hard to think that way. But Justin was his best friend, one of the only people in this world that he knew he could trust with his life. And he would take his words of wisdom, and go with them.

“Not to get off the subject,” Justin chuckled. “But you gonna be okay to meet Jenna for dinner tonight?” He sucked in his bottom lip and narrowed his eyes at Trace, knowingly.

Shit. He’d totally forgotten about it…the current situation too intense for him to be able to worry about anything else. “Oh…shit, that’s right.”

“Hey, I can go if you want,” Justin offered. “Just give me the paperwork. I think I remember everything we went over, so…I can explain it.”

Sending Justin in to train somebody, was like sending Jaws in to get the kids out of the pool. Justin spoke so quickly, and eagerly when he was passionate about something, and Trace knew Jenna wouldn’t have a clue what was going on once Justin finished rambling on about the project. By the time Monday rolled around, he would end up having to repeat the same stuff all over again, when what they would really need to be doing was getting down to business. Getting things done right the first time, was a high standard in Trace’s book, and yes, he knew he had to meet with her tonight, despite his problems. “No, I need to go,” he nodded. “We won’t be long. Maybe an hour…two at most.”

Justin smiled. “You just think I suck.”

Trace was silent. “Well…no, I just--”

“Come on,” Justin chided, and punched him lightly in the shoulder. “You can’t fuckin’ lie to me.”

Trace laughed, and was a little surprised that he managed to do it with such ease. “All right,” he admitted. “You do suck. I can’t deny it.”

“Jack ass,” Justin shook his head, but his smile widened. “I always knew you’d be a good entrepreneur, even without me.”

“Even without you?,” he laughed out loud. “Dude, I could have been in NSYNC instead of you if I wanted to be,” he bragged. “Shit, I can dance and sing.” He did a pathetic two step, and knew he sucked at dancing. But hell, it felt good to be acting goofy with Justin right now. It was the only thing keeping him from turning into a broken down mess again.

“I‘ll let you get away with that comment, and that horrible dance move, because I know you‘ve hit rock bottom,” Justin shook his head, but laughed, and threw an arm around him. “Come on.”

They walked back out onto the patio together, and Trace spent the rest of the morning eating Cameron’s kick ass omelets, and convincing her that he really wasn’t a bastard. All the while going over in his mind how the hell he was going to get Elisha to talk to him, and…how the hell he was going to manage to be composed and professional at his dinner with Jenna.

But he guessed it was all part of being a good boss.