The next morning, August 4, 2005
She
took the final bite of her shrimp and grits and laid her napkin on the table.
“Aubrey.”
She looked up as she drank her mimosa, “Yes?”
He blinked, “I’m trying.”
“I know.”
He ate his oatmeal for a moment then sipped his bloody Mary, “I feel like there’s
still tension between us.”
“That’s because there is.” she said, “That’s because last night
you basically told me how you couldn’t fall in love.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You said something like that.” She replied coldly, “You said that right
after you told me how all this is about is sex for you, so…I’m not sure how I'm supposed to be feeling or what
I’m supposed to be thinking.”
“You want me to say it.”
She sighed, “I don't, not if you don't mean it.”
“You don't understand how fucked up I am, Aubrey.”
She rolled her eyes, “Yeah, right.”
He exhaled and finished his oatmeal, “Are you coming to the beach with me?”
She nodded, standing up and pushing her chair underneath the table. She was dressed in a dark
green bikini with a beaded white caftan over it, her hair pulled back into a sleek and low pony tails, oversized sunglasses
perched in her hair.
They exited their hotel room and got in the elevator. “I’m not angry with you.”
“Could have fooled me,” he said, pressing the button for the lobby.
“I’m not mad,” she replied, “I’m…I’m hurt. I’m
a lot of things.”
He sighed, “Okay.”
She bit her lip, “I’ll give you time. I want this. I want all of this.”
“So do I.”
“So then if you just…” she paused, “Put a little bit of faith into
me, you’ll see I’m not the one who’s going to hurt you in the end. It’ll be you, Justin. It’ll
be you because you’ll have let me go. That will be the only reason why it’ll be you in the end.”
He would have responded except that an elder couple stepped into the elevator and he figured
he wasn’t about to let two more people see their strife in public.
The elevator doors opened and they walked out to the rocky beach. “You want a cabana
today?”
She nodded and he paid the cabana boy twenty bucks to set it up. She set her straw tote bag
on the lounge chair then peeled off her caftan.
“It isn't that I don't have faith in you,” he said, “it’s that I lack
faith in every single woman that comes into my life, except for my mother, but even she cheated on my father.”
She sighed and laid back in the comfortable chaise lounge, retrieving a bottle of Fiji water
from her tote and taking a sip.
“It isn't you,” he said, “because you're amazing. You're the best thing
that’s ever happened to me.”
She blinked, looking over at her, her arm resting on her forehead to shield the sun. “Why
don't you act like it?”
“I do,” he said, lying on his side to face her, “You don't think I do?”
“Not recently.”
“How recently?”
“Since we got to Kennebunkport.”
He sighed, “Well…yeah. I know I’ve been kind of shitty since we got here.”
“Um, kind of?”
“Okay, like, really, really shitty. It’s only cause I’m scared.”
“That explains a lot.”
“Really?”
She nodded, “I don't want this to end. Not because of your issues, anyway.”
“I don't want it to end either,” he said, “I just need you to bare with
me.”
“For how long?” She asked, “Not that I wouldn’t wait a century for
you, but…”
He cracked a smile, “Not that long. I’ll try and rush things along just for you.”
“Did you mean what you said.”
“About what?”
“Just being…a good fuck.”
He shook his head, “I didn’t mean that.”
“I knew you didn’t, but why did you say it?”
“Because I’m a loser,” he said, “and because I was angry and I was
trying to push you away.”
“Well you're good at that…mission accomplished,” she said, “I knew
that wasn’t true. You can't get anything past me.”
He sighed, “I know. I’m sorry.”
She shrugged, “It doesn’t matter; the words already escaped you. Let’s just
forget it and move on.”
He nodded slowly, “Aubrey.”
“Hmm?”
“Move in with me,” he said, “when we get back to New York. Move in.”
She let a laugh escape her mouth, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I’m completely serious.”
“Your apartment is tiny,” she replied, “you and your dog take up, like,
all the space in that apartment.”
“No…we’re fine. Move in,” he said, “I want you to.”
She licked her lips, “Why don't you move in with me.”
“I don't know, Park Ave isn't really my scene,” he chuckled.
“Well I don't usually mingle with the Indie SoHo scene, so I guess we’ll both
be making a sacrifice either way.”
He smiled, “I’ll move in with you, if you want me to.”
She giggled, “I totally want you to. This is going to be amazing.”
He leaned over and kissed her on the lips, “Yeah.”
She smiled and her fingers stroked the hair on the nape of his neck, “I can't wait until
the day comes when you tell me you love me.”
He laughed, “You can't wait, huh?”
She shook her head, kissing his hand, “No.”
He kissed her on the lips then her neck, “Aubrey.”
“Hmm.” She said, fully realizing what was about to happen. “Don't say it
unless you mean it.”
He blinked, “I do mean it.”
“So then say it.” she smiled.
“I love you,” he announced, “And if I have to shout it out to this entire
beach right now to get my point across, I will get up right now and do it.”
She giggled, “Point taken.”
“Okay,” he said, “So I think now you have something to say to me too.”
She laughed, “Did I mention that I love you too?”
“You just did,” he said, “but reiteration has never hurt any one.”
“No, of course not.” she smiled, “Do you want to go in the water.”
He nodded and got up, extending her hand. She grasped it and ran ahead of him down to the
shore, into the crashing blue-gray waves.
Tuesday, August 6th, 2005
“I can't believe it.”
“Yeah, you can.”
“Why didn’t she move here?”
“It’s a little bit cramped.”
“True,” Trace agreed, placing a stack of CDs into a box. “Are you gonna
put this place back up for lease?”
“No.” he said, “I’m gonna keep it, just for the hell of it. I don't
wanna bring all my shit over there. Too much work. Just the essentials.”
He chuckled, “It’s really weird how the other day you were like blowing her off
and now you're fuckin moving in her apartment.”
“It’s because I grew some balls and told her I loved her.”
“That’s cool.”
“Yeah, but that’s after the fact that I tried to drive her away.”
“And?”
“And I did,” he said, “but only for a minute, luckily.”
“Eh, well,” Trace said, “I’m glad you got this back on track.”
He nodded in agreement, “I know. For my sanity and yours.”
Trace nodded enthusiastically, “If you let this girl go, I swear I’d never hear
the end of it.”
He chuckled, “Of course you wouldn’t. She’s the love of my life.”
Trace laughed and placed another stack of CDs into a box, “That’s what you said
about the past thirty women you’ve had a relationship with.”
Aubrey stirred the batter of the cookies she was baking for Justin. Robbie looked at her,
nodding his head.
“What.” Aubrey grumbled, cracking the two eggs over the creamed sugar and butter
in her white Kitchen Aid mixer.
“You only bake for men you love.”
“Of course, I bake for you, don’t I?”
He laughed, “This is bad.”
“Hardly.”
“He’s moving in. You do comprehend that, don’t you? You're going to have
another human living in this palace with you. I can tell you right now…he’s going to do a lot of things that are
going to drive you insane.”
“I know that.”
“How come all that time you were going out with that cutie Chad he never moved in here,
huh?”
“It would have been pointless,” Aubrey said simply, pouring in the vanilla and
baking powder. Or was it soda? “He would have just worked all the time, and it would have put a burden on me. By the
way, it was his idea to not move in.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, so I guess both of us were responsible for the…I don’t know, decline
of the Aubrey-Chad monstrosity of a relationship.”
“When can I meet this new guy, huh? All you do is talk about Justin this, Justin that…but
I ain’t met the guy.”
“You’ll meet him when he comes today,” she said, “he said he was bringing
stuff over around two.”
“It’s one thirty.”
“He’s usually on time.”
“Good thing you have maids,” Robbie said, “men are pigs.”
“Are they?” She smiled, eyeing Robbie.
“Yes.” He said, “Get ready for toothpaste globs in the sink, man things
everywhere…everywhere you turn, a bottle of cologne, a Blackberry. You’ll go nuts. Beatrice, tell her.”
“He’s right.” She said the maid, Beatrice. Aubrey always had one maid twenty-four
hours a day, and two other ones that came every day to cook or clean.
“Well it won't be so bad because I have you and the other women.” Aubrey replied,
“He isn't messy. He isn't like most men.”
“Maybe he’s gay, honey. Did you ever think of that?”
Aubrey rolled her eyes, “Trust me. He isn't gay. If he was gay, I highly doubt that
we would have the kind of…”
“Sex. You can say it.”
She sighed, flustered, “All I’m saying is that the sex is way too good for him
to be anything but straight. I know you wee hoping to snag him for yourself, but…”
“Oh, no, honey.” Robbie said, “You know me and Luke are so hot for each
other.”
“That is so much I didn’t want to know,” Aubrey replied, “Are you
going to get married?’
“We talked about it.”
“You should get married at my family’s house in the Hamptons. It’s so nice
out there. It makes for a really lovely wedding,” she said, mixing the chocolate chips in.
“If you love it so much, why don’t you and your ungay boyfriend get married out
there, then.”
She stopped what she was doing and looked at him. “Robbie, you're crazy.”
“Oh, now are you going to tell me that ever since you blew off marrying Chad that you
don’t ever want to get married again?”
“No, but I am going to tell you that even though we’re in love, we’re nowhere
near the position you have to be in to get married.” She replied calmly, “And to tell you the truth, I’m
not sure if I’ll ever be in that position again.”
He sighed, “You say that now, but wait until he’s down on one knee asking you
to be his wife for the rest of your life. Not only would you melt, but you’d also say yes because unlike Chad you actually
like this guy.”
“Marriage is something…it’s sacred. All people do is get divorced these
days,” she said, “And I’m not about to be one of those people.”
“Point taken,” Robbie said. The front door opened and Justin walked in carrying
a box of stuff, his hands full. He shut the door with this foot and dropped the box in the foyer. He went into the kitchen
and smiled, kissing Aubrey on the lips.
“Hi.” She smiled, “I was wondering when you were going to get here.”
“I’m here,” he said, “That’s the last of my stuff, anyway.”
She giggled and kissed him on the lips, “Good. Oh, Justin, did you meet my friend Robbie?”
“Hi.” Robbie waved, extending his hand.
“Hey what’s up,” Justin said, shaking his hand. “Aubrey, I’m
gonna go put that box in the library.”
“Okay.” She accepted with a sweet smile, kissing him on the cheek, “Don’t
be too long.”
“I’ll try.” He tossed her a charming smile before he went to get the box
from the foyer and headed off down the hall to the library.
“How much do you adore him?” Aubrey said, smiling. She felt weak in the knees.
“Three and a half times more than you do, honey.” Robbie smiled, “He’s
so much more delicious in person.”
She giggled, “Isn't he? And guess what?”
“What, darling?”
She smiled, “He’s all mine.”
