"What if he has buck teeth?"

Meredith and I have been friends since grade school. We’re the kind of friends that slept in the same bed at sleepover parties. We’re the kind of friends that got their periods at the same time, and the kind of friends that bought their first bras together. We’re the annoying, inseparable kind of friends. I wouldn’t give up what we have for the world. "Mark does not have friends with buck teeth," I laugh.

"Have you met him?" she asks me.

"No. He’s new in town."

"Oh…so you mean there’s a chance that he could have buck teeth."

"Would you relax?"

If you haven’t noticed already, Mere tends to overreact a lot of the time. Well wait, no, she doesn’t overreact a lot of the time. She overreacts all the time. I mean, I can’t really blame her. Mere doesn’t date. She doesn’t screw around. She has relationships. She had one in high school, she had one in college, and well, that’s pretty much it. She’ll probably meet this guy tonight, love him (because he’s Mark’s friend and all of Marks friends are drop dead gorgeous), and get into another relationship. Me? I’ll just be left to fuck whatever guy I find out on the dance floor.

Mark, he’s a friend from high school. He’s the guy Meredith lost her virginity to. He’s a really nice guy. Not like the kind of guys I date. He’s shy. He’ll open the car door for his date and pull out her chair for her. He’s the kind of guy I wish I could find but never do.

Oh, and when I say Mere lost her virginity to him, I don’t mean it was like some cheap sex. I mean, he genuinely cared about her, as far as high school romances go anyway. It was something they both wanted to do, so they did it. I mean, I wasn’t there or anything, because that would be gross. But I can tell he was good to her. He was exactly what she needed.

I, on the other hand, lost my virginity in the back of a Buick on the night of the sophomore winter dance.

"Maybe we should turn back."

I look up. We have arrived at the small club we agreed to meet Mark and his friend at. "Like hell we are."

"Court…"

"Look Mere, we’re gonna go in there. He's gonna be hot as fuck. He's gonna take you home and you two are going to fall in love and have hot passionate sex all the time. Then you’re going to get married and make fifty billion and ninety nine babies and live happily ever after," I said, grinning from ear to ear.

Meredith laughed. "You have a great imagination"

"Just park already!"

She pulls into a parking space, backs up, even though she's in fine, and perfects her car. We come to this place a lot. It’s a small club. Some people dance, there’s booths and places to sit. But it's mostly a place to come hang out and drink a couple drinks. We wait in the car for a few moments. When we see the sleek Silver BMW sports car pull up beside us, I get out and give Mere a look, cause I know she’s gonna sit there and pout if I don’t. She rolls her eyes and gets out, and I laugh as she makes it look like it’s taking all of her energy to do so. She’s such a dork sometimes.

Holy Shit.

-----

He doesn’t have buck teeth. In fact, there’s nothing "buck"ish about this guy. Once again, I'm wrong and Courtney is right. He is nice looking. I wonder if he's as nervous about this as me. I doubt it. He's already smiling and shaking Courtney's hand. Great. Miss liquid palms has decided to emerge.

“And Justin this is Meredith.” I hear Mark say.

I want to go home. I know I’m overreacting. But I just want to go home and watch a movie and curl up with my cat and drink a half a bottle of Riesling. Is that bad? Yeah, it’s bad. I’m with my two best friends at our hangout, and there’s a gorgeous guy in front of me with a cute little half grin and dark blue eyes who is my date, and what do I wanna do? I want to go home.

“Hey, it’s good to meet you. Mark’s said some great things.” His hand is warm in mine and big. I know what he’s thinking. He’s thinking I’m a nervous freak with sweaty hands. Well, it’s kinda the truth.

“Hi.” I try and smile. He drops my hand and puts his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. I look over at Courtney who is standing a little bit behind Justin. She’s looking him up and down and mouthing “HES SO HOT” to me. Don’t laugh. Oh God, I better not laugh. I bite my lip and turn to look at Mark with a pleading glance. He’ll get me through this. He always does. “I guess we should go in?”

Mark smiles at me. “Let’s go.”

I walk up to Mark and he nudges me with his elbow. “How you doin’, sweetie?”

“I’m ok.” Actually, I’m dying here.

“Classes killing you yet?”

Thank you, Mark. Get my mind off the situation at hand. You are a life saver at times. “Not yet. It’s only been the first couple weeks though.”

“How’s the thes-“

The dreaded words hit my ears, and I cut him off before he finishes, “Can we not talk about it?”

I’m at grad school for English Literature at the local college. My parents think its one of those bull shit majors. It kinda is. But I like it. I’m a year behind, too. I didn’t have enough money for grad school after I got my BA, so I took a year off and waited tables. Yeah, that wasn’t a high point of my life.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be walkin’ with him.” He says and nods back over his shoulder.

I look back and see Courtney and Justin laughing and talking about who knows what. I look back at Mark. He’s looking back at them as well, staring a little. “I’m nervous,” I whisper.

His eyes turn to me and he laughs. “I hadn’t noticed.”

We walk over to the booth we normally sit at. The place isn’t too crowded yet, but I give it another 30 minutes to an hour and this place will be packed. It is Friday night after all. Mark slides in and I so desperately want to slide in beside him. I know it seems I’m clinging to him, but I kind of wish I was here on a date with him. I’d be a hell of a lot more comfortable.

But yeah…Justin’s nice looking.

I get this weird feeling when look over and see Courtney is smiling and doing something to Mark’s hair, something he clearly is annoyed with. But he’s smiling anyway. I hear someone clear their throat. I look up. It’s him. He’s tall. He smiles. “Lady’s first,” he says and motions to the booth.

I can’t keep from staring at him. I know I’m doing it. I know I’m looking too long, but it’s hard not to. I slide in and watch Courtney playfully hit Mark’s shoulder and then look up at me and smile a huge smile, raising her eyebrows. It’s an encouraging smile, but sometimes I get so jealous. She’s so friendly and so, well, fearless. I’m scared as shit. I’m scared what this guy is going to do to me. I can already tell he’s a nice guy. You can always tell right off, well most of the time.

I know he’s the type of guy I fall for. And I’m not ready to do that again. It’s only been a few months since Chad left. I mean, I know it’s for the best, but, I still have a few of his t-shirts. And sometimes, just occasionally, I sleep in them.

“What’d you like to drink, Meredith?”

Everyone’s staring at me. I hope I hadn’t zoned out again. That happens to me from time to time. I look over at Justin who is looking at me strangely. God, he already thinks I’m a freak. Why do I care? I wanted to go home, remember? “Green Apple Martini.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back.” Justin smiles at everyone else and leaves the booth. I wonder what Courtney ordered.

As soon as Justin’s gone, Courtney slaps her palms down on the wooden table and turns to look at Mark with that huge smile. "Mark! He's so hot.” She turns and points a finger at me. “Girl you better fuck him tonight."

Mark laughs. I smile. I love these two. "Eww! I don’t wanna know."

I shrug, "He seems nice."

Mark nods, “He’s a really nice guy. He just moved here from Memphis. He’s working at The Chronicle.”

“Ooo, Memphis!” Courtney purrs, wiggling her eyebrows at me. “But Mere! You gotta talk."

"What do I say to him?" It’s an honest question.

Mark reaches over and stops me from picking at my nails, a nervous habit I have. "Ask him about his job or where he's from or something."

Courtney leans over the table and says in a loud voice, following with a laugh, "Ask him how big his dick is!"

My mouth drops and I say to her in a loud whisper, "COURT!" I can’t believe she- well, yes I can.

"I haven't measured in a while. But I'm pretty sure it hasn't shrunk yet."

I feel my face burn. I don’t look up. I can hear Courtney’s laugh. I hear Justin’s. He’s got a nice laugh. I hear Mark say, “You’re a trip, Court.”

I can’t look at any of them. I’m so embarrassed. I see my Martini slide in front of me and I grab at it. I wanna go home.

----

I have realized two things in the past hour. One: girls from Bodine are hot. And two: Court really knows how to have a good time. She's got a great laugh and a great smile. The Meredith girl does, too. Well she did. Well, the two times I saw her smile. She's quiet. Mark told me she wasn’t a quiet girl. Is it me? Do I smell? Nah. I can't smell, cause Courtney, well, she wouldn’t be so flirty with me if I did. Well, Mark and I did switch seats. Jesus Justin! You don’t smell!

"So," Courtney says to me, taking a sip of her drink. "What made you decide to come to Bodine?"

I watch her take a sip from her glass. Her lips seem to hug the rim letting the liquid slide in easily. It's so sexy and when she pulls away she licks her lips ever so slightly. God, that makes me hard. "All the hot girls, of course," I say, flashing a smile.

She tips her head back and begins to laugh. "That can’t be the only reason."

"Well," I smile. "I guess I came for the work too."

"You should write a story about..."

I look her directly in the eyes. "I should write a story about you." Man that was cheesy, how many beers have I had?

“Me?” She’s blushing. I guess she didn’t think it was that cheesy. "What would you write about?"

"Oh…I dunno," I say. "Maybe about how I met this beautiful girl my first night in town."

"I'm not that beautiful." Oh, she's gonna play the shy one now. See, that's how you play it. You get my attention, then you pull out the shyness. That's sexy.

I feel her breath near my ear. "What are…"

"Ya know Justin, Mere is getting her Masters in English Lit," I hear Mark say.

Dammit Mark…

I look over at Meredith. She’s looking down, picking at her nails. "That’s cool," I tell her. "So I guess you’re a book worm, eh?"

She glances at me. "I guess so."

She's got brown eyes, big ones. They’re the kind of eyes that make you think of a doe. Not the "deer in head lights" sorta thing. But those big, graceful, please don’t hurt me, kind of eyes. The kind of eyes that make you wanna figure out what's going on in there.

But you can’t figure it out, because she won’t give you the chance.

Maybe I should make an effort here. “So, uh, what’s your favorite book?”

Courtney laughs. She’s had a couple drinks, but damn she’s cute. “That’s like asking someone to pick their favorite song for Mere. She’s got a gazillion of them at her house. You do a lot of Shakespeare stuff, don’t ya?”

“Yeah. I really-“

“Oh, Romeo, Romeo, where the hells my Romeo?” I look over at Courtney and she’s got her hand on her forehead and doing this really dramatic impression. Oh, man, she’s drunk.

“You’re so gone,” Mark laughs and then takes a sip of his beer.

I look at Meredith. She’s looking at Courtney like she wants to strangle her. “Is that your favorite play?”

Her eyes turn to me and she begins to speak in a voice that I have to strain to hear. She's talking so softly, and well, it's hard to concentrate when Courtney just put her hand on my knee. "No. And I do have a favorite book."

Courtney’s hand cuts between me and Meredith and I look to see her pointing at Mark and squinting her eyes. “Mark, aren’t you reading that Code book?”

Mark chuckles and nods. "The Da Vinci Code. Yeah, it's really interesting."

Courtney gives my thigh a firm squeeze and leans over to whisper in my ear. "So, I was about to ask. What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing..." I stop, pondering where this conversation is going. "…yet."

Her breath is heavy against my skin. I hear her let out a soft giggle. "Wanna come over?" Lord, it sounds almost like a moan, a sexual moan.

I hear someone clear their throat and I look over to see Mark staring at me with his eyes wide and his head tilted towards the girl beside him. She's looking off into the distance. I don’t know exactly what her gaze is so focused on, but it’s sure as hell not focused on me. I look back at Mark who rolls his eyes and leans in to Meredith. He says something to her and she cuts her eyes back to him. Neither of them looks at me, so I turn back to Courtney. I'm probably making a big mistake. But it's been two months since I've been able to just sit and hang out with a girl at her house. Moving and stuff can keep a guy occupied. And I can’t resist the opportunity of being alone with a beautiful girl. "Sure."

Even if that girl isn’t the one I’m supposed to be with.

-----

I know what she's going to tell me. And I know what she's going to ask me.

I stare at myself in the mirror and wait for her to finish peeing. She's singing along to the song that's playing. It's muted a bit in the bathroom, but whenever someone walks in or out, the song blares through.

It kind of sucks. I mean, I start off not wanting to be there, not wanting to meet a new guy, not wanting to be on a blind date. And then, he doesn't like me. I know I didn’t really give him anything to latch on to, but I'm still jealous.

I watched them all night, laughing, talking, having a great time. He was so into her. They'd whisper to each other, and he'd just stare at her while she talked, or drank. He only looked at me when Mark said something. And when he did look at me, he looked so indifferent, so unamused, so bored. But then he'd look at her and he'd smile. Ya know, I hope it works out. Courtney needs a stable guy in her life.

I mean, I know that probably won't happen. No offense to her, but the truth is Courtney doesn’t keep guys around long. She’ll meet them, talk with them, and sleep with them a few times. Then they go, not caring what happens to her. I hate it when she does that to herself. Sex isn’t supposed to be like that. You’re not supposed to sleep with somebody and never speak to them again. You’re supposed to have a bond with that person, even if it’s just a small one. The guys Courtney sleeps with simply get the best of her, without forming any bond at all.

"Mereeeee...."

“What babe?"

"Can you hand me some toilet paper? I ain't got none."

I laugh. She is silly when she's drunk. I go to an empty stall, get some paper and hand it to her under the door of her stall.

"Thanks!" she giggles. Moments later I hear the toilet flush. "So what do you think about Justin?"

What do I think? I think he’s the hottest guy I’ve seen in years. I think I would be in heaven if I had him look at me like he looked at you. "He seems nice."

She cackles loudly. "Mere, c’mon. I know somewhere in that mind of yours there are a million dirty thoughts just itching to make themselves known."

So, I'll admit it. When I was being a stalker tonight and staring at him, I did notice how nice his lips are, how nice his hands are, how his eyes are powerful as hell. I bet he's great a making love. But I'll never find out.

The door to the stall flies open a moment later, and Courtney staggers out of it. "Can I be honest?"

Here it comes. "Sure."

"I think…" she begins, but pauses to let out another drunken spout of laughter. "I think I need to sleep with your friend, Mere."

"Don’t you think you should wait?" I ask. "I mean maybe you should get to know the guy--"

"Don’t be silly," she interrupts me. "When have you ever known me to do that?"

"I just…"

"Mere, I feel really bad too," she continues. "’Cause I know he's your date. But you didn’t really seem to like him."

"Uh-huh."

"And I do."

I somehow manage to smile at her. "Courtney, you’re drunk sweetie. Are you sure you want to do this?"

Her mouth gapes. "Did you see him?

I nod.

"Of course I want to do this!"

I sigh. I know there’s nothing I can say that’s going to change her mind. "Just be careful."

"Thanks…mother."

"Come on, lets go back out there," I say to her. She looks herself over in the mirror and then smiles at me. She's happy. At least one of us is. We head back to our table, where the guys are finishing up the last of their beers.

"Damn," Mark laughs as we take our seats. "Took you guys long enough in there."

I glance at Justin. He doesn’t acknowledge my presence at all. He’s too busy gawking at Courtney, who is now in the process of building a castle out of her fork, knife, and cocktail umbrella. My, it’s strange how something so stupid can amaze a man.

"I fell in," I say. I look back over at Courtney and she's laughing, but now Justin’s eyes are on me instead of her. I feel uneasy. He's looking at me. He's really looking at me. I need to get out of here. I look at my watch. We've been here for a couple hours. "Are you guys ready to go?" I ask. My breath catches in my throat, though. Shit. I just realized that I’m Courtney’s ride. There’s no way Mark is gonna drop them both off so they can have sex.

"Yeah," Mark yawns. "You need a ride Justin?"

"I’ll take him," I blurt out.

Mark gives me a weird look. "You sure?"

"Hey, thanks," Justin says, sliding out of the booth. Yeah, I bet you’re real gracious. You’re about to get some ass. I hate guys that fuck on the first date. I watch as he places one of his hands on the small of Courtney’s back and guides her out of the club. I feel so…used.

"Bye girl." I turn to look at Mark and he pulls me into a hug.

"Bye," I whisper.

He pulls away from me and stares at me for a moment. "You’re pissed huh?"

"What?"

"I mean, I’m sorry Mere. If I had known that Court was going to intrigue him so much, I would have told you not to bring her along."

"Who says I’m pissed?" I say. "I’m fine. Just call me later or whatever."

He smiles. "C’mon Mere," he whispers. "I know you."

I roll my eyes at him. "What do I have to be pissed about? I don’t even like the guy. He’s totally not my type."

We stare at each other for a moment. He knows I’m full of it, and I know he isn’t buying my act.

"BYE MARK!!" Courtney’s drunken voice causes our moment to break.

"Bye," I whisper.

He doesn’t smile. "Bye."

I walk back to the car and swiftly unlock the doors. I hear them cooing and squealing but don’t look at them. I know he's tickling her or something. Disgusting. We all get in the car, and naturally, they both get into the back seat. Great. Now I feel like the chauffeur.

"Justin…" Courtney giggles. "That’s the no no spot…"

"I like the no no spot…"

Did you ever have one of those nights that you just couldn’t wait to get into your bed, close your eyes and sleep? Well, tonight is one of those nights for me. Courtney's place isn’t that far from the club, but it‘s taking forever to get there. Every light is red, and every time I have to stop I can’t help but glance in the rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of the action. Every time they’re whispering to each other, or making out…or feeling each other up. Why am I torturing myself?

I suck in a deep breath and pull into the parking lot of her condo. I put the car in park and wait.

"Thanks for the ride, Merey-poo." I look over my shoulder. She’s leaning into the front seat, a big old grin on her face. She dangles her arms around me and gives me a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Love ya!"

I fake a smile. "Love you too, honey."

Courtney gets out of the car. I keep my gaze focused straight ahead, watching her run around the car to open Justin’s door for him. She nearly falls in the process.

"Hey, thanks again," I hear him say.

My eyes meet his in the mirror.

"No problem."

The car door slams and I watch her hanging onto his arm, while his hand slips down to grab her ass. She squeals and runs away from him and he follows her up the steps. She opens the door, and yanks him inside. It closes.

And I am left alone.

It takes me a minute to put my car in reverse and look over my shoulder to back out. Tonight was bad. No, tonight was a disaster. I'm not ready for this. Courtney and Mark want me to live it up. I just turned twenty five and they think it's time for me to have a wild streak. Well, tonight proved what I’ve been telling them all along. I'm just not cut out for it.

My house, well, it's really a half of a house, a duplex, is a couple miles away. I figure I’ll call Mark, see what he’s up to. I blindly dig into my purse and pull my phone out. I fiddle with the numbers and wait for him to pick up.

"Hey Mere."

"How'd you know it was me?" I chuckle.

"Because only you would call me right now," he laughs.

"Oh..." I laugh. "Right..."

"So, what’s up girly girl?"

"Nothing much, just thought I'd check in," I say.

"Mere..." I hear him sigh.

I know what's coming. I've felt it coming all night. I inhale then exhale, and it comes out all shaky. I will not cry over this. I will not. It's stupid. "Don't start."

"I worry about you."

He is silent for a moment. "Do you want me to come over there?"

I debate about it for a good minute. Having company would be nice. But then again, I don’t feel like breaking down in front of Mark tonight. I’ve done that enough in the past. "Nah. I'm just gonna go home, get in my pj’s, knock out and not wake up tomorrow until after twelve."

"Sounds like a plan," he yawns. "Talk to you tomorrow then?"

I'm thankful when I see my street sign. I put on my blinker. "Yeah," I say. "Tomorrow." I hang up, and toss the phone back in my bag. I drive down the street and pull into my shitty little gravel driveway. I sit there. I turn the car off. I really should go inside, but I don’t. I look down at my lap and pick at my nails. I don't feel like moving. Five minutes pass…then ten, then twenty.

Two